Friday, 12 June 2026
Friday 12 June 2026
It’s Friday, so DNF has two serious topics in point (1) and (2) while we keep it lighter and more positive in points (3) - (10).
[1] The New York Times Magazine published an article which detailed how the Trump administration handled the release of the Epstein files. While it has always been obvious that the US Government had not been transparent regarding information on the sex offender and his accomplices, these details paint a picture of individuals in the senior ranks of the administration who have ingratiated themselves with Donald Trump to such an extent that they have lost all sense of humanity, morality and lawfulness.
The article documents how senior officials, including but not limited to current AG Todd Blanche (who, by the way, is also Trump’s former personal criminal defense attorney), former AG Pam Bondi, FBI Director Kash Patel and Chief of Staff Susie Wiles met in the Situation Room (the same room that Obama was in when SEAL Team Six executed Operation Neptune Spear, which saw the successful assassination of Osama bin Laden in 2011) to discuss not how they were going to bring justice to victims, but rather how they would attempt to carefully manipulate the narrative to protect Trump, their polling numbers and the Republican Party.
It is a depressing, anger-inducing read which highlights how money, power and fame can corrupt human beings.
Read the full article, which should be available without a subscription, here.
The article also lays out how Trump had tried everything in his power to prevent the Wall Street Journal (which, by the way, is controlled by the Murdoch family) from publishing an article about a birthday letter he had (allegedly) sent to Epstein in 2003.
The now infamous birthday letter was written in the shape of a nude woman and concluded with the words “A pal is a wonderful thing. Happy birthday - and may every day be another wonderful secret”.
DNF must add that the birthday card was written before Epstein’s first conviction in 2008, although allegations against him of child sexual abuse go back well into the 1990s. Furthermore, Trump has continued to deny that the letter was written by him, including by saying “I don’t do drawings”.
(Also, because we can’t resist, SEAL stands for Sea, Air, Land and “bin” means “son of” in Arabic).
[2] The negotiating tactics of the US Government continue to provide an interesting look into what would happen if you allow ex-reality TV stars, daytime television hosts and podcasters to run the most important country in the world.
Pete Hegseth noted “If we need to negotiate with bombs, we’ll negotiate with bombs. And we’re very good at it. Nobody better in the world” (he is starting to sound more and more like Trump).
Interesting, Mr. Hegseth, because it seems that your world-class negotiating tactics have managed to get America stuck in yet another Middle-East quagmire.
Remember the one in Afghanistan, which lasted two decades, resulted in the death of 180,000 people (most of whom were civilians, this figure only captures the deaths directly associated with the war and is almost certainly higher) and cost around $2 trillion? How is Afghanistan doing today? We guess you don’t know, because the country is run by the Taliban.
DNF would also like to know a) who exactly are you negotiating with, considering you “obliterated” the Iranian military and assassinated most of the senior government officials and b) what exactly your desired terms are for this negotiation. Fair, no?
(Note that DNF is non-partisan and our commentary on the management of the Iran war would have been equally visceral if a Democratic administration were in office. We report and comment on facts, regardless of political affiliations. Furthermore, we agree with the broad idea that Iran should not have nuclear weapons, we think no country should, but that will never happen, and we certainly disagree with a lot of what the Iranian Government does and believes. Please refrain from misconstruing our comments as pro- or anti- any country, religion, belief or opinion. News should be, surprisingly, factual and not biased).
Serious topics: done.
[3] The current approach to investing in public markets (throw everything you know about finance, equity analysis and valuations out of the window and click buy on whichever stock appears first on your brokerage site) has infiltrated Nigeria.
The Union Dicon Salt (NGX: UNIONDICON) factory in Lagos has been idle for over twenty years. Its losses are piling up and its largest shareholder has vanished (Aims Ltd. owns 40% of the company. Union Dicon has been searching for Aims, going as far as to issue a regulatory filing asking the investor to get in touch, the stock market equivalent of a “You up?” text). The company lost contact with its largest shareholder decades ago (let it go Union Dicon, she’s clearly not interested).
Despite no profits, no dividends, no operations, zero salt production in two and a half decades and misplacing their largest shareholder, investors have been piling into the stock, which is up 250%, putting it among the 10 best stocks in Nigeria this year. Union Dicon executives are flummoxed, noting that they believe investors are “getting feelers as if something is happening” while clearly stating that nothing is happening.
The Union Dicon Salt Factory in Lagos
Source: Bloomberg
Close those CFA textbooks, call your mom and start moving ZAR to Naira (not investment advice, not investment advice, not investment advice).
[4] The fact that Canada, Mexico and the USA are co-hosting the FIFA World Cup has not softened Trump’s stance on his neighbors. The President noted that he is not interested in renewing a trade deal he struck with Canada and Mexico in his first term.
At the time, in 2020, he called it the “fairest” and most “beneficial” agreement America had ever signed. This week, he went on to claim that America does not need anything that Canada and Mexico produce.
Americans are distressed, as they are uncertain where their maple syrup for breakfast pancakes is going to come from (the infiltration of sugary breakfasts into the American routine is a wonderful rabbit hole to go down, homework for the weekend. Spoiler alert - big corporations chasing big money).
[5] An alarming trend is emerging amongst mayors in America - they are becoming influencers (better than influencers becoming mayors, although DNF fears that this is only a few months away).
More than a dozen mayors met in California for a session with Shelby Leimgruber, a self-proclaimed “creator-economy strategist” (again, everyone gets a title. Also, adding “economy” and “strategist” to your title is an excellent move, Shelby, but you are not fooling DNF).
The session was meant to nudge America’s local leaders to connect with influencers in their city. The participants, however, turned the session into a more personal pursuit - becoming influencers themselves. The mayors asked poignant questions such as “How do you make sure you’re not winding up doing car commercials for someone”, indicating their worries are squarely misplaced.
They left the conference excited to post. Larry Klein of Sunnyvale started recommending restaurants (#EatSunnyvale, all of his reviews are positive) and, when asked to join a TikTok dance, he noted “If the mayor dancing around with an influencer for a video makes a difference, that’s the easiest thing I can do”.
Close, Mr. Klein, it is the easiest thing you can do, but it makes absolutely no difference.
F*$#, what have we become.
[6] Recently, a trend went viral online which had women ask their male partners (not the only option) how often they think about the great Roman Empire.
DNF wants to move the trend to Alexander the Great.
Going down in the annals of history as [name] + “the great” must have been preceded by something spectacular (DNF the Cynical. Or DNF the Concerned. Or DNF the Mighty, let us know).
Indeed, Great Old Alex had an empire that stretched 4,800km from Athens to India. He also wasted no time (to be fair, no one had much time in 350 BC) conquering his vast array of land in about a decade. Alexander was also known as “one of the greatest killers the world had ever known”, having wiped out an estimated 1% of the ancient world’s population.
In his new book, Alexander: God, King, Man, Edmund Richardson explores this great historic figure. Add it to our DNF reading list.
[7] South Africa’s current account surplus (exports less imports, basically) tripled in the first quarter of 2026, reaching the largest level in almost five years.
Generally, a surplus reflects a healthier economy that is producing more than it consumes. On the flipside, it could also indicate weaker imports due to slower local demand and a lack of investment. We’ll take what we can get.
[8] Bafana Bafana lost their opening match against Mexico 2-0. The match had three red cards and two goals. We are disappointed, but there is nothing we can do about it now. Next up, Czechia on the 18th of June.
[9] The FIFA World Cup is in full swing this weekend. On Saturday, we have USA vs Paraguay and Qatar vs Switzerland, followed by Brazil vs Morocco, Haiti vs Scotland, Australia vs Turkey, Germany vs Curaçao and Netherlands vs Japan on Sunday.
DNF had to go look for Curaçao on a map. It is a small island nation north of Venezuela, with a population of roughly 160,000.
Germany has a population of 85 million and has won four World Cups (1954, 1974, 1990 and 2014) so place your bets accordingly (actually don’t bet at all, gambling bad).
[10] The Trump administration said that a peace deal would be signed over the weekend. This is the 35th time that the president has said something along the lines of “a peace deal is imminent” (Tucker Carlson, the controversial and radicalized podcast host, counted) and DNF, wholeheartedly, hopes that this time it materializes.
We do wonder, however, whether SpaceX’s IPO has anything to do with this comment. We will wait and see.
Purely a DNF opinion: there will be no peace agreement over the weekend and this war will continue for a few months. We were correct in predicting the SA rate hike, US rate hike and EU rate hike, AI capital raise induced equity collapse as well as Zverev winning Roland Garros, but we hope, earnestly, that we are wrong this time (5-1 isn’t that bad, right?).
If we are wrong, we look forward to seeing the terms of the peace agreement.
If we are spot on, the Trump administration will blame Iran over the weekend and DNF will go 6 for 6.
[10 + 1 = 11] DNF finishes our second full week of posting with 115 subscribers (!), 2,056 reads across all articles and exactly R0.00, $0.00 for US readers, £0.00 for UK readers, €0.00 for EU readers, ₦0.00 for Nigerian readers (call us) in revenue.
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Have a great weekend! See you next week when we will have a lot to say about the SpaceX IPO later today as well as the inevitable escalation in Iran (hopefully not).
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